


I hope I’m not a casualty (I hope you won’t get up and leave)

by Isotope



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soccer!Harry, Soccer!Liam, Soccer!Louis, Soccer!Niall, artist!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isotope/pseuds/Isotope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His heart seemed to have a mind of its own and decided that the best owner for it this time was Niall. He was powerless against it and it really bugged him. He didn’t want to become all-weak kneed and sappy around the other boy, he wanted to stay strong and have his wits about him. He didn’t like how his mind went blank or how he’d freeze up or become suddenly self conscious which would just make them lapse into silence. He wanted to be able to get that blush running down Niall’s cheeks like he did the first time they really talked or be able to get his laugh to ring out and bounce from wall to wall.</p><p>Louis and Zayn throw a party and invites three unexpected guests. From that moment onwards the five of them are somehow always together, either with kisses and hugs or in glances or silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hope I’m not a casualty (I hope you won’t get up and leave)

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from One Direction's Truly, Madly, Deeply. I just though it fits.  
> This is for my person :)

Zayn got out of Louis’s silver Porsche and slammed the door shut. He put on his sunglasses and grabbed his bag from the back seat, following Louis as they walked up the stairs to the posh, private all-boys school they both attended.

 

Boys crowded the hallways, seniors pushing the freshmen out of the way while juniors thought they were too cool to be there and the sophomores looking side to side in worry that they’ll get tossed into the dumpster by a senior because they thought that they were freshmen.

 

But Zayn and Louis didn’t partake in any of this; instead they calmly walked down the hallway with stone cold expressions on their faces as people moved out of the way. They were both seniors, and the most respected ones of them all. Louis was Captain of they soccer team and has never lost a game, against anyone. Zayn, however, held his power over the artists and writers. He was amazing, people only got to see his art during class but rumors had it that he did shows in London but no one knows where. Writing however, no one but his teachers saw, and they only saw the bare minimum. But the plaques and awards that lined Zayn’s bedroom told a different story. Zayn doesn’t indulge in the rumors; instead he lets them flit about.

 

They push past some junior with the audacity to stand right in front of them and not move, and walked into their classroom. Louis dumped his bag down and sighed as he pulled out his phone, texting furiously to someone on it. Zayn just quietly sits down and waits patiently for the teacher to start. It was English, one of Zayn’s favourite subjects and one of Louis’s most hated.

 

The teacher walked into the room, talking about Macbeth and Louis’s ears perked up because of the word _murder_. Lord knows how many people Louis would kill if he could get away with it. He always said that he should go around killing those who disobeyed him or showed him sass (he took his title as King ((or as Zayn referred to him, the Queen)) very literally. God help anyone who doesn’t do what Louis says) and then he said that Zayn could write a thriller about it and no one would be the wiser. Louis would be free of annoying people and Zayn would be sitting on a gold mine. (Zayn rolled his eyes and told his best friend that he was crazy and should get checked into a mental hospital).

 

Zayn took out his notebook and started to take what the teacher thought was notes but in actuality were some of his own ramblings. He strung his words together, closing his eyes and imaging what they would sound like if he could just say them out loud. He closed the book when the teacher came near him and flipped open his notebook to perfect notes on Macbeth, which the teacher nodded at, and Louis muttered, “Kiss up.” Under his breath. Zayn ignored it and opened his journal again, writing something else.

 

+

 

“So,” Louis said, swinging his arm around Zayn’s shoulders and lead him to the backfield. Zayn always caught a ride home with Louis; it was a rare day that he walked home so he usually had to sit through Louis’s soccer practices or games, like today was.

 

“What?” Zayn asked as they approached the locker room.

 

“I’m throwing a party, tonight. After we wipe the field with these public school losers.” He sneered, stopping at the door of the change room, “You’re coming right? Not blowing it off again?”

 

Zayn internally groaned. He didn’t mind going to party’s but going to Louis’s party was like… just a headache for Zayn.

 

“My parents aren’t back till next week, so you have a week to help me clean up the house, don’t worry, love,” He laughed, “Please Zayn? You’re my best mate, I need you there.”

 

“Alright,” He said, nodding, “I’ll be there.”

 

“Great!” Louis beamed as he bounded into the change room and Zayn headed out towards the field. The bleachers were packed, but it didn’t matter, he’d just hang out behind the wall, where the stoners sat when their bleachers were taken. He knew that they’d be more than happy to share a joint.

 

As he rounded the corner, he heard people talking.

 

“There is no way you’re getting high now, you fucker. You need to have your head in the game if you want to beat these bastards.” An Irish voice said and Zayn let out a soft chuckle, so the other team was planning on trying to beat Louis? Did they have a death wish or something?

 

“Come on, just one… I’m stressed enough as it is and you have all the weed.” A distinct British voice said, but it wasn’t an accent that Zayn recognized. The boy talked slow… slower than normal and Zayn thought that he was probably already high.

 

“No,” A different voice pitched in, “You’re the team captain, Harry, you can’t just get high and show up. What will the coach think?”

 

One boy snorted and said, “The coach won’t care, the only why we’re playing this game is because it’s the charity game because our school is too poor to put us into a league.”

 

“Exactly,” The Irish boy said, “There are scouts here, you know. They’ll be looking at the best players, no matter what school. You could make a difference Haz and plus, you’re a fantastic player, you could actually win this game.”

 

“You and Liam told me that they beat us every year.”

 

“This year they won’t,” The Irish one said, “Because we have you.”

 

“Alright, let’s go now.” The other boy said and Zayn quickly rounded the corner, but he didn’t show any signs of hearing their conversation and the three boys just shrugged before walking off.

 

Zayn smiled as they walked off, it would be an interesting match for sure if they thought that they had a chance of winning. Maybe he should watch them.

 

+

 

Louis played fantastically, like always. Zayn spotted Haz on the field, he had a giant C for captain on his shoulder so it wasn’t hard to find. He kept going after Louis, but being more skilled, Louis easily dodged him. After half time, a different boy took Harry’s place of going after Louis and actually managed to get the ball from him a few times which made Louis curse and scream internally before going back after that brown haired boy.

 

Zayn watched the blond boy he’d also seen, he was the goalie, shifted back and forth between his legs. Zayn couldn’t tell if he was hurting (he had a bandage around his knee) or he was just really excited. When he saw Louis approaching him, he ran out of the goal and swiftly kicked it back to their Captain who turned the ball easily and ran in the opposite direction. Zayn didn’t miss the angry glare from Louis to the blond or the way the blond winked and _basically laughed in Louis’s face_ before going back to the goal. He smiled, knowing that that boy would be at the top of Louis’s **To Be Killed** list.

 

But Louis turned up the heat and started his full out launch attack on the three boys who thought it was possible to bring him down. He started going after poor Haz, pushing him without the ref seeing (Louis was good at playing games within a game) and managing to knock the other brown haired boy down with a casual shrug.

 

When he approached the blond, he didn’t stop running, all the adrenaline pumping in his veins that he kicked the ball as hard as he could, coming centimeters close to knocking out the blond with the ball. Then he blew a kiss to the other blond before stalking off. There was a scowl that appeared on the blond face as he gave the ball back to the ref.

 

Louis won the game, 6-4. The whole school started cheering and the cheerleaders ran out to give Louis’s kisses on the cheek. Zayn smiled and waved from the bleachers, happy that his friend won. Louis went to shake hands with the opposite team when he stopped in front of the moping trio.

 

“Not bad for a public school.”

 

They didn’t bother replying, just waiting for him to get on with his point. He decided he liked the fire that burned in their eyes so he decided to do something he’s never done before, “I’m hosting a party tonight, would you like to come?”

 

“And why would we? So you can take the mickey out of us?” The blond said, narrowing his eyes.

 

Louis just laughed and said, “No, no. I like your confidence and how you trying to win the game. No one will be sober enough to remember that you all lost… or that you don’t attend our school. No games just come and get drunk like the rest of us.” He smiled at them and the brown haired one just sighed.

 

“What?” Louis said, not liking how displeased they look, “Really? You have something better to do than attend a Tomlinson party?”

 

Zayn got down from the bleachers and started walking towards Louis, wondering why he was talking to them for so long. He put his arm around his friend and nudged him.

 

“I invited them to my party,” Louis said, voice dripping with distain, “But they seem to have better plans.”

 

Zayn raised an eyebrow at all three of them, “Yeah? Can I join?”

 

“Hey, you said you were coming to this party.” Louis pouted, forgetting about the others for a second and Zayn just poked him, silently telling him that he was. He was still looking at the boys.

 

“You should come,” he said to them, “It’ll be fun and if you don’t have fun you can always leave.” Then he turned to Louis, “Now let’s go, I want to sleep before I take on your party.”

 

“Mhm.” Louis said, turning around and walking away without a second glance. Zayn looked back and gave them a slight nod before walking after his best friend.

 

+

 

Music was thumping throughout the house, no matter how far you were, you could still hear the bass. Zayn maneuvered through the mess of sweaty, drunk bodies until he found the kitchen and got himself another beer.

 

“Z-Zayn!” He heard a voice wail and he turned around to find Perrie there. Perrie went to the all-girls school which was the boys' sister school. For dances and events they mashed everyone together so they pretty much knew every girl and every guy in the opposite school whether they wanted to or not.

 

“Yeah,” he said, laughing as she almost fell over.

 

“Dance with me babe!” She yelled over the music, grabbing Zayn’s hands before he could say anything and walking towards the dance floor. She placed his hands on her waist and started grinding into him, trying to get a reaction out of him. He just smiled painfully, as he tried his best to satisfy a hungry Perrie.

 

Somehow, through the mess of bodies, Zayn was able to spot the blond hair boy and his friends walking through the door. Louis was nowhere in site and Zayn desperately wanted to escape. Perrie was pretty and all, but not his type. He was dead set on males, like Louis. And since they were the most popular, no one fucked with them.

 

He broke himself away, pushing his way through everyone before getting to the door where they were still awkwardly standing.

 

“So you decided to show up, anyways,” He smiled at them, alcohol pumping through his veins. He didn’t have any personal rivalry with them, so he could be nice.

 

“Uh, yeah we did,” The brown haired boy said, looking around widely. The blond just looked unimpressed and the curly haired boy was checking out a girl with massive breasts in the corner.

 

“I’m Zayn by the way, and Louis’s around here somewhere…” Zayn said, before nudging the curly boy, “Well are you going to stare at her all day, go mate?” He pushed him towards her and the other boy actually flashed him a smile before walking over.

 

“I’m Niall,” The blond said, still frowning and he looked to the other one, “That’s Liam.”

 

“Do you want something to drink?”

 

“Sure,” Liam said and Niall sighed,

 

“Liam doesn’t drink alcohol.”

 

“Why’d you come then?” Zayn asked and then realized he was being rude so he tried to ask something else but Liam just laughed,

 

“Because who else is going to take care of these idiots when they get wasted?” He grinned, instantly loosening up. The only one who hadn’t was Niall and Zayn wondered what he’d have to do to get that smirk back from the field.

 

“Come on then,” he said, as he led them to the kitchen. He opened the door and pulled out a Pepsi for Liam, showing him what it was before pouring it into a clean solo cup.

 

“If anyone asks just say there’s some vodka in there… but mostly likely no one will.” He shrugged before handing Niall a beer, which he accepted. They clinked before Niall downed it in one go.

 

Zayn looked at him and he shrugged, helping himself to another one, “I’m Irish.”

 

“That means shit, mate,” Liam laughed as he took a sip of Pepsi. Niall just snorted before Louis came bounding into the kitchen. He grinned when he saw Liam and Niall standing there and hooked his arm around Zayn.

 

“So you two of you decided to come. Why didn't the curly haired boy come?”

 

“Harry?” Niall said, “He’s chatting up some girl.”

 

“Mmm…” Louis said and Zayn poked him before whispering in his ear,

 

“No games tonight Lou.”

 

“He’s not the one I’m after,” Louis winked at him, before clearing his throat, “I don’t believe we’ve properly met, I’m Louis.”

 

“Niall,” Niall said, taking a sip and looking to Liam again.

 

“Liam.” He grinned and he kind of reminded Zayn of a puppy. Zayn cocked his head to one side, examining Liam closer. His hair was short and he’d done it up in a quiff. He was wearing a tight fitted shirt but loose jeans and off the field he smiled and laughed like there was no tomorrow. He seemed decent.

 

“Perrie’s looking for you,” Louis said, “You gotta service the lady.” He giggled and Zayn groaned,

 

“No. I’d rather not.” He said looking away, “I’m going for a smoke.”

 

“See you,” He said eyes glinting as Zayn left with his beer in one hand and smoke in the other.

 

When he got outside, he leaned against the wall, lightly it up and taking a drag. He felt calmer in the cold, night air yet he could still hear that ridiculous bass playing and he seriously wanted to break Louis’s sound system.

 

He closed his eyes and exhaled a couple of smoke rings before taking another drag. He relaxed his body and let his senses take over.

 

+

 

He woke up, just before sunrise, feeling another body beside him. He woke up to see Niall sitting besides, taking a drag from a joint.

 

“What?” He asked as he sat up and rubbed his throbbing head.

 

“You were out for a bit and then you woke up randomly, passed me a joint and then fell back asleep.” Niall explained, still in the monotone voice.

 

 “Why didn’t you leave me then?” He asked, sitting up straight and cracking his back.

 

“Because the house is littered with passed out people, and I couldn’t lug you up to a bed because I’m pretty sure they are all taken. Liam’s disappeared somewhere and Harry went home with some bird so I have no way out and it’s unsafe to leave a pretty boy by themselves, you never know what could happen.” He laughed at the end part, surprising Zayn.

 

But what surprised him more was that Niall said he was pretty.

 

“You think I’m pretty?”

 

“How about you just thank me for not leaving you alone.” He said and Zayn could see the beginning of a blush forming. Zayn wanted to see how red he could get the Irish boy.

 

“Thank you Niall, for not leaving me alone. Now, you think I’m pretty?”

 

“Did I say that?” He said in an indifferent tone but Zayn could slowly see the blood spreading in his cheeks. He moved forward slightly, breathing down his neck. He watched how his simple action made him blush even more. Now Zayn was even more curious, where else did this blush spread?

 

He involuntarily brushed his hand against Niall’s cheek but the other boy didn’t move.

 

“I believe you did,” he whispered softly, but more gently and less teasingly. He inspected every inch of Niall’s now bright red face, looking for something but at the same time he wasn’t sure what.

 

“Must’ve been a mistake.” Niall was scared if Zayn came any closer that he’d hear his heart beating out of his chest. He wasn’t normally like this but there was something about Zayn that just drove him crazy. At first, he thought that it was anger and unhappiness because all rich boys treat him like shit. But after sitting outside for awhile, he figured out he wasn’t angry… but there was a definite strong emotion to Zayn. For now, he labeled it as curiosity, the same way that Zayn was labeling his emotion as curiosity as well.

 

“I’m not sure it was,” He said, biting down on his lip and making Niall’s heart beat a million miles per minute. He stared into half an eye, since Niall was intent on looking forward and not meeting his gaze.

 

They were a shade of blue that Zayn had never seen before… a colour he couldn’t quiet describe which he thought was fitting since he’d never met someone like Niall before. Someone who’d captivated his attention within a few minutes. He studied half of Niall’s face, letting the conversation drop between them and committing it to memory. This may be the last time he saw the boy, anyways.

 

After a few minutes, Niall jumped up and said, “I should go… find Liam.”

 

“Do you want me to help?” Zayn asked, getting up and dusting himself off.

 

“S-sure. “ Niall said, looking down. Zayn raised Niall’s chin with his finger and said,

 

“I don’t think he’d be passed out on the ground, let’s check the bedrooms’.”

 

“Alright,” he said following Zayn back into the house.

 

They walked up the stairs, Zayn groaned there were things everywhere; it’d take a miracle to clean up the place and have it in order in time for Louis’s parents to come back. They searched every bedroom until they landed at Louis’s and pushed the door open.

 

Zayn smirked, seeing Louis’s half naked boy covered by a sheet and Liam’s draped over him. He wasn’t sure as to why Niall was standing there, shocked.

 

“What?” Zayn said, “Never seen your mate naked before.”

 

“I have, plenty of times,” Niall said, “Harry has a stripping problem.” He shook his head, “I just didn’t expect this.” He walked over to Liam and poked his shoulder a few times before screaming in his ear,

 

“LIAM PAYNE WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!” Liam jumped up and covered himself with the blanket, looking side-to-side and then down at Louis’s body, before his mouth fell open.

 

“What the fuck did I do last night?”

 

“You don’t remember?” Niall said, leaning in and giving him a whiff, “You drank?”

 

“Just a bit… Louis said that I should loosen up.” He said, looking worried.

 

“You’re a fool,” Niall commented before throwing Liam his clothes, “Come on, I’m hungry.”

 

“When are you not?” Niall threw him a look before walking out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him and Zayn. He sighed, “I guess I should deal with this now.”

 

“Deal with what?” He said, “Also, I can make you breakfast if you want.”

 

“Thanks, but no,” He said, “I’d rather a waffle from Harry’s bakery.” Zayn nodded and said,

 

“I don’t understand the problem with Liam.”

 

“He doesn’t drink not because he’s the responsible one, it’s because he has one kidney,” Niall explained, but he used a different tone, a tired tone, “He’s able to drink a little but not very much so he usual stays clear of it. Or only drinks with Haz and I. With Louis… I don’t know what he did and if he doesn’t remember that can’t be a good sign.” He paused, “I couldn’t care less that he was naked with Louis, that would be a little hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?”

 

“So you prefer blokes over birds.”

 

“Uhuh.” Niall was back to his monotone, “So does Liam but Harry swings either way.”

 

“Good to know.”

 

“I’m ready,” Liam said, as he approached them at the end of the hallway. Niall gave him a curt nod and starting walked down the staircase, “Tell Louis what happened, yeah? And to give me a call.” Zayn nodded and Liam gave him a small smile before heading after Niall.

 

Zayn watched them go, leaning against the window to catch one last look at the blond boy before Liam’s car turned down the road and out of sight.

 

+

 

“I don’t understand…” Louis said, when he finally woke. Zayn had set a breakfast up on his desk while Louis was sleeping before shooing all the hung over people out of the house. “Where is Liam?”

 

“Niall basically dragged him out because he was hungry.” Zayn said, sitting at the edge of the bed and nodding towards the food, “Are you going to eat?”

 

Louis rubbed his throbbing head and glanced at the other boy, “How’s your head?”

 

“Better, I didn’t do much shit last night.” He chuckled, “Passed out after awhile, tired.”

 

“I don’t understand why I invite you to parties when you just sleep through them anyways,” He grumbled as he took his breakfast back to bed. Zayn choose to ignore the comment and said,

 

“So Liam?”

 

“What?” He asked with a mouthful of pancake, “He’s a fit bloke and not that bad once you get to know him.”

 

“I refuse to believe that’s the only reason why.” Zayn said, crossing his legs and waiting for Louis to answer.

 

“…And there was a little spark in his eyes every time during the match when he’d go after me and I thought it was hot. Sue me.”

 

“I just might.” Louis threw him a look.

 

“So are you going to call him? He seemed pretty distressed to leave you to wake up to an empty bed.” Louis just shrugged and Zayn continued, “And I’m pretty sure Niall wants to rip you to pieces so if you break Liam’s heart… you’re dead.”

 

“Not if I kill Niall first,” Louis said curtly as he took another bite. Zayn didn’t say anything, but pulled out a sketchbook he stashed under Louis’s bed (he spend as much time here as he did his own house. He’s got to be prepared in all situations).

 

He started drawing the outline of a face (Niall’s but he’d never admit it) while Louis talked on and on about the amazing party he missed. Once he was finished talking he said,

 

“…Should I call Liam?”

 

“He did ask me to tell you to give him a call,” Zayn shrugged, “You have his number, just do it.”

 

Louis hesitated as his hand hovered over his phone. He looked at Zayn who gave him an encouraging nod before picking it up. He typed in his password before dialing Liam’s number.

 

Zayn set down the pencil and leaned forward so he could hear what Liam would say.

 

“Hey, Liam?” Louis said, voice wavering. Zayn found it amusing how nervous he suddenly became. “Yeah, it’s Louis.”

 

“What’s up?” Liam asked casually.

 

“Well you asked Zayn to give me a call…” Louis rambled and Zayn could feel this getting awkward, fast. “Well, here I am giving you a call.” Louis looked at Zayn and mouthed HELP.

 

Zayn took the phone from Louis and said, “Sorry Liam, Louis just threw up.”

 

“Oh um, tell him to call me later then.”

 

“Yeah, I will.” Zayn said, he heard some muffling in the background and then Liam said,

 

“Niall says H— OUCH!” He yelled and the phone cut off. Louis looked at him and Zayn just shrugged,

 

“Call him later, when you’re less nervous.”

 

“What the fuck is happening to me?” He asked falling back on his pillows and Zayn fell back onto the backboard,

 

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

 

+

 

The next few days were a drag. Zayn decided to cut school (not like his parents cared) and go up to London where he had his studio (so what, the rumors were true) and paint in peace for a bit. Louis showed up a day later, banging his head against the wall and telling Zayn how he made a fool of himself in front of Liam.

 

“So I call him,” Louis said, sitting down in the stool, “And I just start rambling on about something and then I say the stupidest thing like, ‘Why do giraffes have long necks?’ And he just starts laughing at me and I turn bright red, thank god he couldn’t see it before I stumble out a good bye and hang up and I haven’t talked to him since.”

 

“Has he called?” Zayn asked, making a long brush stroke against the canvas.

 

“Yeah, four times.” He sighed, “And there are three messages.”

 

“You haven’t looked?”

 

“No.” He said, fiddling with one pencil, “It’s going to be awful so why should I?”

 

“To stop your suffering?” Zayn said before walking over to him and grabbing the phone. He unlocks it quickly before holding it out of reach of the smaller boy.

 

He then proceeds to look at the messages, each more apologetic then the next.

 

“You’re a moron,” Zayn commented as he threw the phone back and went to sit down behind the canvas. “Just talk to him.”

 

Louis sighed and dialed his number, leaving the room so that Zayn could paint in peace.

 

He started mixing blues around and adding other colours to it, trying to see if he could figure out what colour Niall’s eyes were. But each blue came out murkier then the rest and in the end, the painting of blues looked like shit. He tried with some reds, trying to get that blush that covered his whole face but that didn’t work either. He put the canvas down and against the wall before going over to his desk and spreading out some papers. He took the charcoal and rubbed it between his fingers before opening up his sketchbook to look at the outline drawing he’d done the day after the party.

 

He started drawing out the lines of his face, lightly and carefully before become rougher with the paper, turning it different angles and smudging the dark grey. He blended it into the paper more, his fingers leaving prints all around the edges. It wasn’t the cleanest work he’d done but it was definitely shaping out to be one of his best.

 

He worked endlessly on it, on different versions too, using up all the paper on his desk and yelling for Louis to get him more. His hands wouldn’t stop working, he needed to draw, he needed to perfect his work. If he couldn’t get the colour of his eyes or his cheeks, he need to at least get the shape of him, then fill in the little details.

 

Louis finally took him out of the studio and back to his apartment at about 12 o’clock, shoving him into the shower saying that he needed to clean up. He had charcoal all over him but he didn’t care. He just wanted to keep drawing.

 

+

 

He woke to the smell of smoke and the site of Louis standing in the kitchen with a plate of burnt toast.

 

“It’s six am.” Zayn rubbed his eyes and Louis said,

 

“Exactly, time to get back to Doncaster. We’ve bunked enough school, my parent’s will be back in a few days and I’m pretty sure yours will start to wonder too.”

 

“They won’t, they never do.” Zayn said, throwing the toast away and taking some bread out.

 

“Come on Zayn,” Louis said seriously, “We should go back. We can’t keep avoiding people.”

 

“Who says I am?” Louis just raised his eyebrow and Zayn said, “Are you going to talk to Liam?”

 

“We have a date on Saturday.”

 

“I’m glad.” Zayn said, stretching, “Alright, let’s head home yeah?”

 

They packed their things and got into their separate cars before driving back to Doncaster.

 

+

 

The two days they were back went by in a flash. Zayn found himself sitting alone in his room on a rainy Friday evening, puttering around. Now that he was back, he didn’t feel like doing anything except sleep. But sleep was avoiding him and forcing him to be awake.

 

He thought of the sketches that he’d left in London, how he could take this time to refine them. But then he flopped on his bed and picked up his phone.

 

“Lou?” He asked.

 

“Hey Zayn… what’s up?” Louis said. Zayn could hear people on the other end, one voice was definitely Liam’s.

 

“I thought you weren’t seeing him till tomorrow?” Zayn said, feeling a little put out.

 

“Yeah… but then we were talking…”  


“Alright, I’ll leave you then.”

 

“If you want to come over, you can. Niall’s here too… we’re actually at Liam’s. I’ll text you the address.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Come on Zayn, you obviously called because you were bored. Just come over, it’s no problem really.”

 

“Okay.” He sighed, picking up his varsity jacket and walking out. He nodded to his parents before getting into his car and looking at the address that Louis had texted him.

 

+

 

He got there about ten minutes later, Liam didn’t live far. Louis threw open the door with excitement as he lead Zayn into the room. Harry and some girl were sitting in the corner, snogging while Niall was curled up on a slightly bigger than normal chair with a blanket wrapped around him. Louis and Liam were taking up the whole couch and when Niall saw him, he offered a small smile and motioned for him to come over.

 

Zayn sat on the ground, leaning against Niall’s chair before giving him a smile. They both watched the movie in silent, ignoring the moans coming from Harry’s corner and the soft giggles coming from Louis and Liam.

 

“Take it upstairs, Haz!” Liam screamed at one point when they’re moans were louder than the movie.

  
“Whatever you say, Li.” He grinned leading the bird upstairs and disappearing afterwards. Liam instantly regretted his choice of words.

 

Sometime during the movie, Niall’s hand came out from under the covers and started roaming Zayn’s. He usually didn’t like anyone touching his hair but Niall’s fingers felt so good, tracing patterns and scratching into his scalp that he didn’t want him to stop so he kept his mouth shut.

 

Of course Louis just smirked and said, “You should be careful Niall. He doesn’t like anyone touching his perfect quiff.”

 

“Well it was ruined anyways,” Niall, replied, without blinking, “So he can’t really say I messed it up.” Zayn shot him a look and Louis just kept his same smirk.

 

Niall continued to run his hand through Zayn’s hair; ignoring all the sounds and the looks that Louis kept giving both of them. He was always fidgety during movies and Zayn’s hair looked like so much fun to play with so he’d be stupid not too.

 

+

 

Louis and Liam had fallen asleep after the second movie but Niall and Zayn were still awake. There was no movement upstairs so they both silently agreed that Harry had done the same.

 

“Do you need a lift home?” Zayn asked Niall and he nodded, folding up the blanket and turning off the TV. He left a note for them, saying that he’d gone with Zayn and that he’d see him Monday.

 

They got into Zayn’s car and sat in a comfortable silence, the only time it was broken was when Niall was giving directions to Zayn.

 

When they got to Niall’s house, Zayn turned to him and said, “I’ll see you again sometime, yeah?”

 

“Probably,” Niall said warily, “Since it seems like Louis and Liam have something going.”

 

Zayn chuckled, “I did not see that coming.”

 

Niall let out a small laugh, “I did. Liam won’t shut up about him.”

 

“Yeah?” Niall just looked at him and smiled,

 

“I guess he’s got a crush.”

 

Zayn bit his lip and said, “I guess he’s not the only one.”

 

Niall raised an eyebrow, “You fancy Louis too? Must be the bum.”

 

“You’ve been checking out Louis?” Zayn pretended to be hurt… but he actually was.

 

“Mate, everyone checks out Louis when you first see him.” Niall let out a hearty laugh which Zayn quiet liked the sound of, “I should go in.”

 

“You should,” Zayn replied, nodding to him, “Good night.”

 

“Good night Zayn. Thanks for the ride.” He gave him a small smile before getting out of the car and walking up to his house door. Zayn waited until he was inside the house until he started up the car again and drove.

 

 _Yes_ He thought to himself _A crush. He has a crush on Niall. It’ll ware off soon and in the meantime he should be care as to not make a fool of himself._

+

 

The end of the term was coming up fast, Christmas was nearly upon them and both Zayn and Louis were swamped with assignments and tests, as were Liam, Niall and Harry. They got to see each other limited amounts, mostly just meeting for coffee during lunch or break which would go something like Liam and Louis blushing furiously and giggling while Niall and Zayn sat in a comfortable silence, both scared to make a move in fear that they would show their feelings. The silence wasn’t awkward by the least; they both enjoyed it so it was fine. Louis was too caught up with Liam to be bothered to medal with Zayn’s personal life, which was a relief.

 

When he got home one day, his parents were sitting at the table, like they were waiting for him. His mother motioned for him to come so he dropped his bag at the stairs and went and sat down in front of them.

 

“Zayn,” His father said, “We were wondering how the collecting for the next show is coming?”

 

“Collection? Next show?” Zayn crinkled his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“We booked a show for after Christmas. January 3rd I believe. We told you about this weeks ago.”

 

“No you didn’t,” He replied, “I don’t have anything.”  


“What about from when you went up a few weeks ago? I refuse to believe you don’t have anything!” His mother exclaimed. He rolled his eyes and said,

 

“I have a few sketches. No painting and no professional drawings.”

 

“Sketches are good too…” His father mussed, “But get to work on the paintings, that’s your project for Christmas.”

 

“Art can’t be forced,” Zayn, said, “It just comes to you.”

 

“Unfortunately, we can sit around waiting for you to have an idea or inspiration. If you want to go with this crazy dream and you want your mother and I to back you up, you must show us that you’re capable of making money. If you have to force it now to feed yourself, then you must.” His father said, getting up from the table and walking away, ending the discussion.

 

“Concentrate on school right now, sweetheart,” His mother said, resting her hand on his, “And then think about the paintings.” She kissed the top of his head before getting up and going to the kitchen.

 

Zayn sat at the kitchen table, stunned.

 

+

 

Zayn lay awake in his bed, tossing and turning. He couldn’t stop thinking about how if the showing went badly, that he wouldn’t be able to make any money and he’d fail as an artist and end up working for his Dad like his sister did. She wanted to become a model but failed during her teenage years, successfully ending that dream and now she works at the corporate office with their dad.

 

He picked up his phone and was going to dial Louis but then thought again. He must be enough stressed as it is and he didn’t want to add more. Before he knew what he was doing, he was scrolling through the list of contacts and stopped at Niall’s name.

 

He clicked ‘Call’ and held the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone until Niall picked up.

 

“Hello?” He said, groggily but surprisingly not unhappily, “Zayn? Are you there?”

 

“Yeah,” He said releasing the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Yeah sorry did I wake you?”

 

“Of course you did, you twat, it’s 3am.” He said but there was an amused undertone to it. Zayn really didn’t understand Niall. “What can I do for you?”

 

“I can’t sleep.”

 

“Something on your mind?”

 

“A lot of things. But I don’t know how to get them off.”

 

Niall was silent for a second and Zayn thought he’d lost him, “Niall?”

 

“I’m here,” He said softly into the phone, “Just thinking.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Are you lying down?” Zayn lay down before saying,

 

“Yes.”

 

“Facing in the ceiling or on your side?”

 

“On my side, phone pressed into the pillow.” He replied.

 

“Okay, good.” Niall said, “I’m just going to talk okay? Tell you random things until you fall asleep.”

 

“How do I know you wont fall asleep on me?” Zayn teased.

 

Niall gave a small laugh before saying, “You know one day I’m going to become famous?”

 

“Really? For what, being the best goalie?”

 

“Nah…”

 

“Then?”

 

“I want to be a musician.”

 

“Really? Hard career though.”

 

“So is an artist, yet that didn’t stop you.” Niall challenged.

 

“I don’t know what you’re referring too,” He smiled.

 

“Oh don’t even,” Niall said flatly, “You know just because I go to a public school doesn’t mean I didn’t know who you were the minute I saw you. Everyone knows the football star Louis Tomlinson and his best mate and up-coming artist Zayn Malik.”

 

“So you’re saying I introduced myself for nothing?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What a waste of a breath,” he laughed and Niall couldn’t help but smile on the other end of the line,

 

“So is it true?”

 

“Is what true?”

 

“That you’re an upcoming artist. That you have a flat in London and you do gallery showings?”

 

Zayn was quiet for a minute before saying, “Yeah it’s true.”

 

“That’s really cool.” He sounded genuine before adding, “I’m guessing since you let them be rumors and didn’t really address them that you don’t want people to know for sure.”

 

“Yeah, I don’t want them showing up.”

 

“Alright, then I’ll keep them as rumors.” Zayn smiled on the other end. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Mmm…” He hummed.

 

“So a musician huh?”

 

“It’s a pipe dream but it’s my pipe dream.” He said, “Whether I make it or not… I don’t care… well it’s not that I don’t care but its more that… I need to take this risk. I’ll regret it if I don’t right?”

 

“Yeah…” Zayn said softly.

 

“And life’s too short to have regrets? So might as well take the plunge.”

 

“Do it,” Zayn said, yawning. Niall had somehow management to take his mind off of everything and now he was picturing the blond up on stage, with a guitar and singing, “I think it’ll be wonder…” He trailed off, falling asleep.

 

Niall chuckled on the other end but he didn’t hang up.

 

+

 

Zayn woke the next morning; he found the call still in progress so he said into the phone, “Wake up Niall.”

 

“M?” Niall said, “I’m up, I’m up.”

 

“Give me your address,” Zayn said suddenly, “I’ll pick you up for school.”

 

“Mkay.” He said, still tired and mind fuzzy from the lack of sleep.

 

Zayn quickly got dressed, Niall’s words echoing in his mind from last night.

 

_Life’s too short to have regrets, so might as well take the plunge?_

 

He was going to take the plunge. This crush wasn’t going away… it was only escalating. Zayn was running on adrenaline and lack of sleep, which clouded his brain so at the moment, it seemed like the best idea in the world.

 

+

 

He sped to Niall’s house, skipping over breakfast so that he could get there faster. He knocked on the door, once, twice, three times before Niall pulled it open and blinked at the Bradford boy.

 

“Eager to get to school?”

 

Zayn’s mouth went dry and Niall looked up at him quizzically. He just nodded and Niall reached behind the door and grabbed his bagel before swinging his backpack around his shoulder and putting his Snapback on his head and following Zayn to his car.

 

“Fancy,” He whistled at the range rover, getting in the passenger door.

 

“Got it for my eighteenth birthday.” Zayn mumbled and Niall smiled.

 

“Did you have breakfast?”

 

“No,” He said, “I don’t usually.” Then his stomach growled. Niall laughed,

 

“You’re a terrible liar.” He said, “Stop at the waffle house before breakfast, it won’t matter if you’re a few minutes late. Plus I didn’t finish mine this morning.”

 

“The bagel isn’t enough?”

 

“You don’t know me, Malik,” Niall smiled, he seemed to be full of smiles this morning and Zayn quiet enjoyed it, “I can eat more then everyone in the world combined!”

 

“I’d like to see that.”

 

“Maybe one day.”

 

“Is that a deal?” Zayn avoided the word promise because it seemed more like a word you’d use in a relationship. And they weren’t in a relationship… not yet.

 

“That’s a deal.” He smiled again and Zayn almost swerved off of the road because he was caught in the beauty of it.

 

+

 

They ended up stopping at the waffle house, Niall ordering about half of the menu but finishing most of it before Zayn could even start on his waffles (alright that was an exaggeration but…). They sat in silence once more, an easy, cool silence.

 

Zayn fidgeted, wondering if he should tell Niall now but every time he opened his mouth, his hand seemed to put food in it so maybe it was a sign from his body to not tell him. So instead, Zayn sent a message to Louis.

 

**I have a dilemma. – Z**

**Look at you, using big words first thing in the morning. – L**

**It’s not first thing in the morning, it’s already second period. – Z**

**I’m surprised you know since you’re not here beside me dying of boredom in history class. – L**

**I’m with Niall. – Z**

**Are you now? So what’s this dilemma? – L**

But Zayn even chickened out of telling Louis about it, feeling that he’d do something stupid and ruin this thing… whatever he had with Niall so instead he said,

 

**What do I tell the teachers when I get there? – Z**

**You had to do some artwork. You use that all the time and you could probably get away with murder with that one. – L**

**Thanks. – Z**

Niall raised his eyebrow at him but said nothing, instead shoveling a piece of bacon into his mouth. Zayn reached forward with a napkin and wiped the dripping maple syrup from his chin but quickly recoiled his hand, fearing that he might get a glare but instead he was met with a beam. He gave a smile back before looking down at his lap. Maybe he could tell him.

 

+

 

Zayn wasn’t a coward. He was far from one… but when it came to dating and love he was pretty shit. He’d gotten his heart broken a few times in middle school by girls (he didn’t know that he liked boys at that time) and then in grade 9 got his heartbroken by a few boys so he tended to stay away from all the drama that a boyfriend entitled and just do no strings attached hookups whenever he needed another’s body.

 

But unfortunately for him, his heart seemed to have a mind of its own and decided that the best owner for it this time was Niall. He was powerless against it and it really bugged him. He didn’t want to become all-weak kneed and sappy around the other boy, he wanted to stay strong and have his wits about him. He didn’t like how his mind went blank or how he’d freeze up or become suddenly self conscious which would just make them lapse into silence. He wanted to be able to get that blush running down Niall’s cheeks like he did the first time they really talked or be able to get his laugh to ring out and bounce from wall to wall.

 

Every time he opened his mouth to try and tell the other boy, he’d chicken out and say something else or close his mouth, which would cause Niall to give him a look. The only thing he could be happy about was the fact that Niall’s coldness and the random monotone voices had left and for the most part whenever they did talk, there was amusement and some banter. But that was rare because they never really talked. They mostly sat there, on Liam’s couch watching movies while Niall would run his hand through Zayn’s hair or they’d fiddle with their coffees and communicate through looks when Liam and Louis got too much or Harry’s hands were getting a little bit less PG and more M rated on whatever bird or bloke he’d snagged that week.

 

Louis called them an odd couple once and Niall had just replied, “To each their own.” Which gave Zayn a flicker of hope because maybe, just maybe Niall felt the same too.

 

+

 

It was the first day of Christmas break and Zayn sat on his bed with his sketchbook in his hands and a pencil tipping from side to side. He couldn’t think of anything to draw, except Niall but he’d already done a series on him so he couldn’t possible do another one. His parents wanted _variety_ and he wanted to please them so that they wouldn’t shut down his dream.

 

He heard his phone beep so he put down the sketchbook and leaned over, grabbing the phone.

 

**We’re going to London tomorrow, right? – L**

**Yeah, why? – Z**

**Can Liam come? – L**

**Sure. You two have been very codependent lately. – Z**

**Laugh it up Malik. Can I invite Niall too? – L**

**Sure, and bring Harry while you’re at it. – Z**

**You’re not being sarcastic are you? – L**

**No I’m being dead serious. Bring them up with you tomorrow; I’ll be driving with my parents. We’ll stay at the loft instead of with them, yeah? – Z**

**Cool. I’ll tell them right now! – L**

 

Zayn threw his phone back across the room and picked up his sketchbook and pencil. He wasn’t going to draw today; he’d see what happens in London.

 

+

 

Christmas eve, they all sat around Zayn’s Christmas tree in the loft with presents scattered around. Some were for today, for Louis’s birthday, and some were for tomorrow, Christmas day.

 

Louis was sitting on Liam’s lap, looking very comfortable and it was cute about how he could fit perfectly in his lap. Harry was snuggled under a blanket, only his face showing and you could see his dimples every time he smiled.

 

Niall was in his reindeer PJs (which Zayn thought was adorable) and was sipping hot chocolate (Liam made everyone a cup… but three cups for Niall, Zayn wondered how he’d sleep at night) and adding in something now and again to the conversation. Zayn wished that he could have Niall on his lap like Liam had Louis but he knew that was out of the question so he stayed where he was and listened to them talk.

 

Apparently, Niall was feeling something similar because he crawled over to Zayn with his hot chocolate and rested himself lightly against his shoulder, looking up at the other boy, checking to see if it was okay. When Zayn smiled and kept his shoulder there, Niall took it as the ‘yes’ to stay. So he did, until he fell asleep.

 

Zayn pried the cup from the Irish boys hand and carefully picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. He and Niall were sharing while Louis and Liam were sharing another and Harry had called the couch for some unknown reason.

 

He pulled up the covers and placed them over Niall before changing into something more comfortable and sliding in under the covers as well. He listened to his soft breathing to calm him and eventually fell asleep.

 

+

 

Christmas day was crazy; Louis woke them all up at 8, eager to open gifts. By the end of it, Niall had tape in his hair, Liam had successfully wrapped Harry in the wrapping paper that was taken off of the gifts (Louis’s command, obviously) and Zayn was sporting a few new love bites because Louis decided that that was the best way to wake up his best mate.

 

At around 12, they decided that they should make some lunch so Zayn went into the kitchen to start puttering around with something. Niall came in with two gifts neatly wrapped in his hands.

 

“I did get you something, I just didn’t want Louis to ruin it before you got it.” He said to the Bradford boy who turned around in surprise. He had given Niall a necklace with his birthstone in it (he’d found out from Liam) because he’d read somewhere that it was good luck. Niall had said it was too much but Zayn thought in his head that it wasn’t enough.

 

He smiled to see that he was wearing it as he took the present from Niall, “It’s no birth stone or anything… nothing fancy.”

 

“I’m sure it’s wonderful. Whatever it is,” Zayn smiled at him as he carefully unwrapped the gift.

 

“Be any slower,” Niall laughed so Zayn purposely went slower.

 

When he finally opened the first one, it was a handcrafted notebook. Zayn gasped and opened it, delighted as he turned each blank page and felt the texture of the book.

 

“Niall this is amazing,” he said, grinning from ear to ear, “Thank you so much!”

 

Niall just waved and said, “Open the other one too.”

 

Zayn ripped through the wrapping paper to find a box of pencil crayons. They were some of the more expensive ones; Zayn knew this gift wasn’t cheap.

 

“Niall you really didn’t have too…” He said looking up but Niall gave him such a sweet smile and said,

 

“This is for your personal drawings, you know? For the things that you want to draw but you don’t want up in a gallery, something you only want for yourself. Louis gave me the idea, actually, he told me you had a notebook filled with poems that you don’t let anyone else see, not even him.” He smiled, “I wasn’t sure what you liked the best, like paintings and such, so I thought a notebook and pencil crayons wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“I love it, this is amazing, thank you so much!” Zayn said, jumping over the counter and hugging the Irish boy. “This means so much to me, you know? My parents only give me art supplies to make money from them but this is…”

 

“This is just for you,” He smiled, “You don’t have to show it to anyone ever. Or you can, it’s totally up to you.”

 

“Thank you.” He said, pressing the notebook to his chest and clutching at the pencil crayons, “I’m going to put it in my studio right now.” Niall smiled, delighted that his gift had made Zayn so happy. It was a rare day that he saw that Malik smile and he did like to see it.

 

+

 

After Christmas day, the days went by in a flash. The boys would go out, leaving Zayn in his studio so that he could finish his work but nothing would come out the way he planned it. He didn’t like it, so he threw his dirty canvases across the room and ripped paper in half. He was frustrated; he didn’t know what to draw or how to paint and everything just turned to shit.

 

Niall could see the frustration in the other boy’s eyes, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He felt bad because days slipped by and the other boy would only emerge for water or to go to the bathroom, grunting in between if anyone asked a question. Even at night, Niall could feel him toss and turn and he wanted to do nothing more than hold him still in his arms (platonically of course…).

 

One day, Niall returned with a guitar that Louis had bought him (he felt back because he didn’t get him a gift because he didn’t know what. Liam had told him a guitar but he wanted Niall to pick it and after MUCH persuasion, he finally wore down the Irish boy into letting him get him a new guitar) he slipped into Zayn’s studio just in time to see a canvas go flying across the room.

 

He walked up to the Bradford boy and touched his shoulder, giving him a small smile before siting down in the middle of the room. He started humming and playing his guitar, fully aware that Zayn was watching him. His guitar always calmed him down, so maybe it could do the same for Zayn?

 

Zayn watched him, curious at what he was trying to accomplish when suddenly the light hit him at a certain angle and he seemed to glow. Before Zayn knew what he was doing, he picked up a sheet of paper and placed it on the stand. He grabbed all the colors he could and lay them out in front of him before picking up a black one for the out line.

 

His eyes never left Niall, his hand seemed to know all the curves even though he hadn’t drawn him in mouths. But it was just like riding a bike because he remembered everything. His hand wondered over to the blues and Zayn said,

 

“Look up, Niall?” Only then did Niall realize that he was drawing him so he looked up, blinking and confused. “Stay like that.” Zayn instructed and Niall did.

 

Zayn mixed blues and greens together before adding the little gold flecks. He smudged it and touched it up before adding some white to soften the gaze. It was intense but at the same time it wasn’t. And he needed to portray that.

 

Niall started to redden, and Zayn’s lips formed a smile as he did. His fingers flickered over to the reds and oranges, hands flying across the page to show the starting of an adorable blush that Zayn imaged would cover his entire body, from head to toe. He smiled encouragingly at Niall as he put his head back down and continued to strum and hum at the same time.

 

Once he got what he needed, his eyes never left the page, hand carefully tracing and retracing the lines and adding more color and brightness to his blush and his eyes. Zayn made the little things that he loved about Niall stand out more prominently and let the bigger, easier to see things fall behind… fall in the shadow of everything else.

 

He finished around midnight, but Niall didn’t mind. He yawned and set down his guitar by his stool, which Zayn took as a silent promise to come back tomorrow. He took down the large canvas from the easel and placed it against the wall, throwing a black cover on it.

 

Niall looked disappointed but Zayn smiled and took his hand, “Soon.” Before leading him to the bedroom where they both collapsed in exhaustion.

 

They don’t know how, or when but when they woke up, their limbs were entangled in each other’s but neither of them seemed to mind much.

 

+

 

Louis and Liam let Niall and Zayn sleep, only hearing them come back to their bed around midnight. They knew they’d both been working hard and Louis wanted to see what and he’d corrupted Liam to do it with him. Harry was snoring somewhere and not to be bothered.

 

Louis opened the door to the studio before walking in with Liam on his heels. He pulled back the black sheet and gasped in amazement.

 

“It’s…” Liam said taking it in, “Beautiful.”

 

“It’s Niall...” Louis said, eyes wondering from place to place, “It’s how Zayn sees him.”

 

A small smile formed on Liam’s lips, knowing that there was someone in this world that loved his best friend as much or even more than he did.

 

They threw the cover back on the drawing before heading out for Liam to make breakfast.

 

+

 

Zayn woke and checked his calendar. It was two days until the show, which meant tomorrow would be spent installing the artwork. He only had two paintings from the summer, which he didn’t showcase, the Niall series and the Niall drawing. He needed some more.

 

He walked into the kitchen and Louis said, “Hey Zayn?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you think you could do a drawing of me? And Liam? Together maybe since you wont have time for individuals?”

 

Zayn contemplated it for a second before Louis leaned forward and said, “I saw the Niall.” Zayn’s eyes went wide and Louis continued, “It was beautiful. You drew him like how you see him. Which is unique because you’re an artist and you see people in different ways. And I’d really like to be showcased in your show but if you don’t want too…”

 

“Actually,” he said, “That’s a great idea. The large drawings could be the way I see my friends. I’ll have to do one of Harry too but I’m sure I can install it the day of the show which means you’ll have to take care of tomorrow. Well, Liam because I trust him more.”

 

“So it’s a yes?”

 

“Of course.” He smiled, “I’ll do individuals though, Liam first because he needs to take care of tomorrow.” Louis rolled his eyes and called for his boyfriend who smiled and nodded.

 

“Do you play an instrument or something?” Zayn asked as they got into the studio.

 

“Piano.” Liam blushed, there was no a way a piano could fit in here.

 

“Would you be content reading?” Zayn asked. Liam nodded so he grabbed a random book off of his bookshelf and gave it to him, “Here, read this while I draw.”

 

+

 

Liam’s was different then Niall’s. Mostly likely because though they were best mates, they were completely different people. When Niall was the sun, when he smiled it was like the sun shining down even if it was night. Niall had a… crazier vibe to him, which Zayn wanted to unleash while Liam seemed more innocent, puppy-like. He wasn’t the type to do irrational things, which was weird because he was dating Louis, the king or queen of crazy town. He was sensible, the thought things through before doing them.

 

He was… Liam. There wasn’t really a perfect way to describe him; you just kind of had to know him. It was impossible not to like him; he was so perfect in his Liam way that you could _not_ like him.

 

And that’s exactly what Zayn showed with his clean lines and perfect angles. Art isn’t supposed to be perfect but this was. The shading was even, his hair was perfect and his expression was dead on. Zayn usually didn’t like perfect but he as mighty proud of this.

 

Like with Niall, he didn’t let Liam see it and made a mental note to lock the door. He finished right before 5, so he decided he’d spend from 6 until whenever he finished on Louis.

 

In the meantime, he was going to crash on the couch or something.

 

+

 

Niall took his guitar from the studio once Liam and Zayn had come out, both looking exhausted. He fought the urge to pull back the black cloth but he did want to see more of Zayn’s drawings or paintings… artwork in general.

 

Louis saw him look about so he mentioned for him to come with him very, very, quietly. He took out his phone and went into an album, specially made for Zayn and his drawings.

 

Niall took the phone and sat quietly in the corner for about two hours, looking at the different works while Louis was being drawn by Zayn. They were incredible, some were abstract some weren’t. Some were prefect, others were ruined but they were all so breathtaking. He wondered how someone could create such beauty, and then he remembered that Zayn’s parents had created Zayn. So it was possible.

 

+

 

Louis was… an interesting drawing. He sat there, grinning like a fool while he tried out wrong chords on the guitar he’d taken from Niall while Niall had his phone. He bit his lip when he’d hear the buzz but grin with happiness when he got perfect chords. He kept playing though Zayn was sure that he was getting more wrong notes than right. But that was the thing with Louis, was that he never gave up. That’s how they became friends anyways. He wouldn’t take Zayn’s no for an answer.

 

Zayn didn’t bother with perfect lines with Louis, like he had with Liam. He didn’t bother bringing out the little things with Louis like he did with Niall because those didn’t matter either. The only thing that matter was capturing Louis’s energy. The energy he could easily spread around and light up a city for years if scientist knew how too. He wanted the capture the confidence and the arrogance and the sassiness and the happiness. He wanted to capture ever emotion that Louis portrayed on a daily basis. Because in a sense, that was who he was. He wasn’t sensible like Liam, or intriguing like Niall, he wasn’t even perverted like Harry … in Zayn’s eyes he was a bundle of emotions, good and the bad but most importantly, he was true. He’d always been true to himself and he wouldn’t let anyone stop him from being true. So maybe… that was the most important thing for Zayn to capture. Truth.

 

+

 

He finished around 2am, exhausted and worn out. He slumped on the bed and this time, Niall tucked him in before falling asleep net to him. The only reason why Niall was awake was because he was used to falling asleep beside someone, it honestly didn’t matter whom. Just someone.   

 

+

 

Harry was his last drawing. And Harry was tough but Zayn seemed to be able to capture him, figure him out, break him and piece him back together in his mind. Harry was charm and insecurities. Something his paintings lacked. Though Louis’s had the good and the bad, Niall’s and Liam’s did not. It wasn’t that Zayn over looked them, it was just that he couldn’t find them. Or maybe he didn’t look hard enough… he didn’t know which.

 

He just wanted to get Harry’s done as soon as possible so he could move it into the gallery. His curls were messy, like they were in real life but his face was perfect… too perfect, more than Liam’s. Zayn wanted to show at what lengths this boy did to make himself seem presentable to society. He wanted to send a message and Harry’s was the perfect one to do it with.

 

+

 

Everything had been moved into the gallery, according to Liam. Zayn was just getting ready now before heading down there. He was tying his tie when Niall came up to him and did it with his nimble fingers.

 

“It’s like you’ve never done this before.” He smiled.

 

“I guess I’m just nervous.”

 

“Don’t be, I’m sure they are brilliant.” He said as he straightened his own tie and suit, “Ready?”

 

“Let’s.” Zayn smiled.

 

+

 

The boys had decided that they weren’t going to use their status of knowing Zayn to get in first, but instead line up like the common man to wait. Louis had found it hilarious but Zayn really wanted them to be with him when the first round of guests came in. He still wasn’t sure about it… still very nervous but Niall squeezed his hand before and told him that he’d be brilliant. And he believed Niall.

 

He got complements left and right for all the drawings, for the Niall series. People seemed to really like the roughness and edginess of the drawings. Those bids were going up high.

 

Zayn didn’t put any of the large drawings on bid though; those were for his friends once the show was over. His parents were impressed on what he came up with in the short days, to say the least, they were proud.

 

“Who’s that boy?” His mother asked, pointing to Niall’s drawing.

 

“Niall.” He said.

 

“Do you love him?”

 

“What?” Zayn recoiled and his mother just smiled,

 

“I can see it in the drawing. You may not be good at expressing yourself through using your words from your mouth but you could always with a piece of paper and a pen. Whether it’s writing or drawing.” She smiled before wondering off.

  
Was it really that obvious? Would Niall know?

 

When his friends came in, they went straight for their own, Louis squealing in delight and hugging Zayn till he had no breath left, Liam giving Zayn a bone-crushing hug which he’s pretty sure he has broken ribs from and Harry giving him a pat on the back and a wink before going to pull some girl.

 

When he didn’t see Niall, he started to get worried. He looked around the gallery but couldn’t see the blond anywhere until he got a message.

 

**Rooftop now. – N**

He sprinted up the stairs, sweating when he got to the top.

 

Niall was over looking the city when he turned to Zayn. They were both freezing but it didn’t matter.

 

“Is that how you see me?” He asked, tears filling his eyes as he bit his lip.

 

“Y-yes,” Zayn said, “Was there something wrong?”

 

Niall nodded, “You showed kindness and gentleness and all these good qualities but I’m not. I’m cold, I’m monotone. I’m not what you made me out to be.”

 

“Niall,” He said, “I didn’t draw what I wanted to draw, I draw what I see.”

 

“And you see all that in me? How? For the first few months of our friendship we barely spoke, hell even now we barely speak! This is probably the longest conversation we’ve ever had.” Zayn chuckled, “How do you see all that in me?”

 

“How don’t you?” Zayn said desperately, “There are little moments Niall, when you smile, or laugh, or blush that it doesn’t matter that they’re small because they take up all the time in my brain. You are all those things because I know you have them in you. When I see you, that’s who I see, I don’t see the layer you put out for everyone else.”

 

“You see me?” Niall said, throwing his arms up, “How?”

 

“Because… because I’m an artist and I’m attracted to all those thing.” Zayn said, voice faltering, “What else did you see in the painting?”

 

Tears ran down Niall’s cheeks and he said, “I saw love.”

 

Zayn nodded, “Yeah, I don’t know if you love me… but I certainly love you. It started out as a glance that turned into a crush, which turned into this. Fuck, Niall, I can’t get you out of my brain… from the minute I saw you… those sketches downstairs which are going for a hell of a lot of money, they were done a week after you stayed beside me at the party. I have rough drafts of the morning after the party because—”

 

And suddenly, Niall’s lips were on Zayn’s. They were hungry and desperate and the kiss was sloppy and not what Zayn was expecting but it fit the moment so perfectly.

 

They broke apart for air before coming together in a more calculated kiss. This one was everything they were. A strong artist and a confident football player. A scared boy and another scared boy, but now they were together so maybe… just maybe Niall would let people see what Zayn saw and Zayn would trust Niall with his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Thank you! :)


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